作者：聚创考研网-王老师 点击量：143 2022-01-21
In the past, if they couldn't agree on a game's direction, I would try to help, only to make it worse: I was a reality-TV host, watching helplessly as my contestants swapped insults at a show reunion. When Mom is there to listen, they turn defensive and mean; when I say, "Figure it out," they do. I know I'm lucky they have each other to play with, and so I've taught myself to hold back. I tell myself they're learning about compromise and boundaries. As am I. I'm distracted by work (and life). I have a bad temper. I can be critical. And I don't like to play, especially pretend, or anything with dolls or figures, or any games that ask me to hide or wield a Nerf gun. My motto is "Moms don't play." (The other context also applies: I do not play.) Our third child joined the family with this system in place, and he is, as most third children are, remarkably independent.
I can't say that my approach is right for everyone. I know that it resonates for me in part because of how I was raised. I have no memories of my parents playing with me. I can remember reading together and their swimming with me in the ocean, but they weren't involved in the fashion shows I filmed with my sisters, and they didn't help me make my magazine, Kid Stuff, either. Not once did they dine at my fictional restaurant.
This isn't a complaint; it's gratitude. They may not be a part of these memories, but they weren't absent either. They were on the edges — there but not there. My parents allowed me private worlds of my own creation, and they respected them. I imagine they felt the same joy I do when I watch my children playing without me; my daughter opens a bakery as her older brother bounces on a giant rubber ball. The baby fills his garbage truck with blocks. Each of us enters his or her own separate sphere. This, I've realized, is my favorite part of mothering. My looking away and then observing.
When my kids and I stop doing our own things and come together, it's because we want to. The activities we do together offer all of us pleasure; we opt in and because of this, we actually have fun. I may not play, but I'm goofy and affectionate, and I love to talk about feelings. I love to teach too: how to count, how to read, how to make guacamole. It feels good to be with my kids in these specific ways, and to let myself be there. It took some time, but I've realized I can't be every kind of mother. I can only be one. I can only be theirs.
1. agree on 商定；议定；就…达成协议；
We rarely agree on what to do.
2. hold back 抑制住,忍住；
He could no longer hold back his tears.
3. be involved in 卷入的；参与的；与…有密切关联的；
She's involved in many extra-curricular activities.
4. opt in 决定参加；决定加入；
He proposed that only those countries which were willing and able should opt in to phase three.